NCLB for Football

Many of you who know me, know how I believe the No Child Left Behind Act is one of the biggest blunders in educational history. There are too many reasons to list here. However, here's a good analogy that will demonstrate how ridiculous the NCLB Act is. Take a look at the "Football Version" and tell me if you think they'll be implementing this anytime soon!

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND: The Football Version

1.ALL teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be placed on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship, their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.

2.ALL kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest, genetic abilities, or disabilities of themselves or their parents. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!

3.Talented players will be asked to work out on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interested in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don’t like football.

4.Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game. This will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. No child gets ahead, so no child is left behind. If parents do not like this new law they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and to support private schools that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football players.